There are many adventures and many wonderful things that I have waiting in drafted posts, but today, I need to write about something more pressing.
They don't tell you what you're going to miss when you go abroad. It's impossible to know, really, what you'll miss the most, until you're actually gone.
They don't tell you that the homesickness hits hardest at 6 in the morning, when you're awake for interviews, the sun is just barely rising, and seeing the face of one of your best friends on Skype makes the tears pour forth.
They don't tell you how removed you'll feel from some of your favorite campus events, and yet how strongly you'll feel the aftershock of an announcement from Housing that, technically, doesn't even directly affect you.
One of the reasons I wanted to study abroad was to get away from the high-pressured and often detrimental climate of campus. Just for a quarter, I wanted to be able to escape from all that, while still learning more than I ever could've dreamed in a new city, a new country, a new culture. I've been getting a lot of what I wanted in that respect, but right now, there's nothing I miss more than the deeply impassioned students of UChicago. It feels wrong to be abroad when there are so many issues that so many people I love are dealing with. It feels wrong to Skype into RA interviews when I care so much about them and want this position so badly. And yeah, part of me even feels wrong for having such a strong reaction to all of this because it's not my battle or my loss--but isn't that one of the most important things about a community? Aren't we supposed to fight for one another?
I want to do something to help, but I can barely offer an ear from the other side of the world, let alone anything more.
I miss community more than anything today--today, when nine communities have effectively been put on death row. I miss the comfort of my friends-turned-family, I miss the warmth of sitting on my couch watching Chopped with someone I love curled up next to me, and I desperately miss the real-life, touchable faces of the people who have mattered most to me for the past three years.
Today, more than anything, I just want to go home.
They don't tell you what you're going to miss when you go abroad. It's impossible to know, really, what you'll miss the most, until you're actually gone.
They don't tell you that the homesickness hits hardest at 6 in the morning, when you're awake for interviews, the sun is just barely rising, and seeing the face of one of your best friends on Skype makes the tears pour forth.
They don't tell you how removed you'll feel from some of your favorite campus events, and yet how strongly you'll feel the aftershock of an announcement from Housing that, technically, doesn't even directly affect you.
One of the reasons I wanted to study abroad was to get away from the high-pressured and often detrimental climate of campus. Just for a quarter, I wanted to be able to escape from all that, while still learning more than I ever could've dreamed in a new city, a new country, a new culture. I've been getting a lot of what I wanted in that respect, but right now, there's nothing I miss more than the deeply impassioned students of UChicago. It feels wrong to be abroad when there are so many issues that so many people I love are dealing with. It feels wrong to Skype into RA interviews when I care so much about them and want this position so badly. And yeah, part of me even feels wrong for having such a strong reaction to all of this because it's not my battle or my loss--but isn't that one of the most important things about a community? Aren't we supposed to fight for one another?
I want to do something to help, but I can barely offer an ear from the other side of the world, let alone anything more.
I miss community more than anything today--today, when nine communities have effectively been put on death row. I miss the comfort of my friends-turned-family, I miss the warmth of sitting on my couch watching Chopped with someone I love curled up next to me, and I desperately miss the real-life, touchable faces of the people who have mattered most to me for the past three years.
Today, more than anything, I just want to go home.
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